Today has been bad. I'm utterly embarrassed. I got in my first car accident, it was a tiny fender bender but I really don't want to drive again. I'm so shaken up & I feel so fucking stupid. I can't stand the fact that I'm ashamed to even show my face to my parents. It sounds so immature and pussy but it's the truth. I can't tell if they're mad, annoyed, or what. I just feel like shit & I have a stack of homework laying next to me but I can't do it. My minds in a completely different place, not to mention my brain feels like it's pounding against my skull to get out. I don't blame it, my brain isn't a very happy place right now. What the fuck do I do? Why am I so clumsy & not caring? I'm the stupid one who drinks & smokes & says stupid things. I'm the boy crazy one. I'm the 'blonde' of all my friends. I don't want to be that girl. But it's who I've become and I don't even know how it happened.