I woke up in a car.

These irregular hormones are effecting me in a minorly major way.
I miss my best friends, they've all gone their separate ways.
Nick's in boarding school in the mormon capital. I can't speak to him. Or see him. It's killing me.

Noelle & Pearl are 2,000 miles away. They carry on their own lives that I know nothing of these days.

Apryl is apparently too busy.

So here I am. Waiting for something to happen.



I am all alone. But here I am. Woah. Well I woke up in a car.

Dreams &such.

My life is back on track. An amazing one at that. I can't remember the last time I was so happy. Some of my lifestyles may not be the most healthy or inspiring, but I've been waking up and looking forward to the days lying ahead.
Junior year is turning out to be exactly how I planned.
Good company, good weed, good vibes.

Tis all I need.
Love life, love you.

Bow ties.

With a few strings
and a few words
with melodies
too lovely to go away.
I'm dedicated
and I miss those days
of liveliness
I will never forget.

Sunset on sundown.

California feels more at home than ever.
I've officially lived here more than half my life.
It's a constant beauty that has so many places
for me to explore.
I can't wait.

Here we go again.

It's back to school for the 11th year in a row. I'm so close to real life in the real world, it's almost frightening. My world has revolved around school for so long and I can almost taste that freedom to come. I know this year will be a completely different chain of events. Needless to say, I'm more than anticipating whats to come. I'm not so set into habits like I used to be. It wont be so hard to get used to change this time. I soon will have a job and more free time on my hands. With this will come responsibility and I all I'm hoping for is to manage it well. I believe that I can, therefore it should happen. I'm already surrounding myself with those who are better for my growing self and almost constant love of life. As for now, I am content despite the starting of a new school year in t minus 5 days.

La medical.

I must say that weed is an amazing friend.
The smell
the effect
the people.
Oh lord, oh lord.
I love this world.

The touch of skin on butterflies.

It's been a while, to say the least. It's that time of year. The time teenagers run wild and live to their fullest. As for me, I've spent many a days inside listening to music, analyzing pictures, rambling and waiting for something bigger than myself to come a long. It was depressing me for the past week or so but I'm actually enjoying myself now.
On Saturday I got something that I never thought I would obtain. Even though it may not have been the 'classiest' thing I've ever done, I look back on it and smile. It gives me hope for people and things in the future. It helps me to overlook every one elses judgments on me. I mean, it's my time to live. This is my time to explore and to figure out who and what I am. For the rest of them? Fuck you. Honestly, it's not any of your business.
This just further deepens my infatuation with men in general. It's something about their bodies, their lips, their eyes and their voices. And any one who plays guitar, is attractive and will do illegal things with me kinda already has me won over.
Well, needless to say this is my life and I can't say that I haven't lead myself to this position. I'm going to enjoy what I have in front of me for as long as I can. Even if my number of friends is dropping, at least I'm not bringing myself down to fit their standards.
That's how I must think now days, to keep my self esteem up and my depression low.

If time could speak,

I wonder if I would have believed it.
If I would have steered clear of what has become my future,
or if I wold have dived into it deeper than I have.
I guess I'll never know.
But I'm not regretful, not one bit.
I love my life and the people in it.
It's just never what I expected my sophmore year to be.

Where did all the time go?

Burned through joints and cigarettes.
Alcohol and kisses.
What happened?
We used to be so clean.

Anxious people lead busy lives.

My past few days have been hectic. This week is only two days in and it's already going crazy. I have so many things to do for so many classes. I have yet to do half the work I need to do because of all my Ap shit, but I'm even behind with that. But I guess at this point it's, I know what I know, and I can't do much about that. The end of the school year is coming up quickly. I'm so happy but I'm already nervous about finals and keeping up my grades. My goal is to have no C's this semester. It would really boost my happiness within myself if I could obtain only B's and A's. It may sound silly but it does help a lot because I'm not one of those kids who just gets straight A's. On the other hand, I'm so fed up with my teachers at the moment. I love some of them but the others are driving me batty. They're bitchy and whiney and sometimes I want to tell them off, but I have this whole ideology built into me that I can't be rude to my elders. I have a really hard time doing that now, even if they deserve it. I can be a complete and utter bitch but it's nearly impossible for me to tell off adults.
What is wrong with me? Gaholy.